Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
