we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize