Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
