we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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