After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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