the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
