Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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