You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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