It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
