there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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