he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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