this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
