whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
