lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
