i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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