Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
