have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
