do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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