We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
