he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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