I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Randomize
