You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
