Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
