i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
