My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize