Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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