I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
