we made out on top of his cat.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
