Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
