If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
