imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Two words: blizzard sex
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
