he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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