I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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