the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
