So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
