Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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