i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
