You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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