She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
