are you still at the devil's house?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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