Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
