i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
