he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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