Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
