How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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