how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
