It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
