Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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