So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
