Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
