i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
