You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
