u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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