I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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