dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
