let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
