A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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