I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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