Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
