It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
