You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
