question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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