Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im holly from the hills drunk

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  (203): im holly from the hills drunk http://tfl.nu/ouvm
  Replies (18) Good night (3870) Bad night (953)
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  (805): View more from California

  he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me

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  (805): he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me http://tfl.nu/6q8m
  Replies (18) Good night (727) Bad night (4094)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was

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  (203): I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was http://tfl.nu/myop
  Replies (17) Good night (1232) Bad night (4586)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf

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  (978): i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf http://tfl.nu/hwzk
  Replies (44) Good night (15145) Bad night (1582)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship

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  (803): I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship http://tfl.nu/p7or
  Replies (15) Good night (3818) Bad night (1814)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.

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  (403): Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person. http://tfl.nu/qpdl
  Replies (15) Good night (2226) Bad night (2832)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.

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  (203): Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs. http://tfl.nu/c91r
  Replies (26) Good night (1039) Bad night (3041)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels

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  (613): you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels http://tfl.nu/5vyu
  Replies (11) Good night (1410) Bad night (3917)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

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  (907): I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone? (810): shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you http://tfl.nu/u0b0
  Replies (14) Good night (2419) Bad night (779)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT

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  (+44): He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT http://tfl.nu/lhny
  Replies (11) Good night (1787) Bad night (539)
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  (+35): View more from

  I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act

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  (+35): I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act http://tfl.nu/3xru
  Replies (5) Good night (997) Bad night (536)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.

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  (701): They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture. http://tfl.nu/7kma
  Replies (2) Good night (1336) Bad night (492)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.

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  (580): I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots. http://tfl.nu/rb8t
  Replies (1) Good night (918) Bad night (365)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.

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  (443): So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room. http://tfl.nu/u3av
  Replies (4) Good night (686) Bad night (211)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning

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  (226): I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning http://tfl.nu/d86s
  Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (199)

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