Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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(856): its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer. (978): college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you. http://tfl.nu/udtk

Replies (45) Good night (4494) Bad night (1034)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

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(215): She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier. http://tfl.nu/gy92

Replies (25) Good night (588) Bad night (5331)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

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(402): They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman" http://tfl.nu/zber

Replies (36) Good night (3717) Bad night (795)
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(415): View more from California

He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.

(650): View more from California

.......................................

(415): View more from California

My thoughts exactly.

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(415): He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic. (650): ....................................... (415): My thoughts exactly. http://tfl.nu/05rl

Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (2922)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.

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(507): I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk. http://tfl.nu/xqiq

Replies (11) Good night (3248) Bad night (684)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.

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(828): Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt. http://tfl.nu/toh0

Replies (23) Good night (2992) Bad night (920)
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(563): View more from Iowa

last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.

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(563): last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers. http://tfl.nu/6ciq

Replies (3) Good night (1297) Bad night (738)
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(949): View more from California

Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.

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(949): Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits. http://tfl.nu/xzwv

Replies (4) Good night (2348) Bad night (692)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.

(1-313): View more from Michigan

That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.

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(313): Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning. (1-313): That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls. http://tfl.nu/sn09

Replies (7) Good night (503) Bad night (1393)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar

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(410): Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar http://tfl.nu/p9qp

Replies (6) Good night (3065) Bad night (501)
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(360): View more from Washington

WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN

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(360): WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN http://tfl.nu/hvye

Replies (12) Good night (1379) Bad night (553)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.

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(519): I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time. http://tfl.nu/5ti8

Replies (7) Good night (850) Bad night (696)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.

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(+44): We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands. http://tfl.nu/fk2d

Replies (3) Good night (1757) Bad night (362)
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(850): View more from Florida

I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.

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(850): I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin. http://tfl.nu/6a77

Replies (5) Good night (1380) Bad night (281)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?

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(586): Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right? http://tfl.nu/hfcq

Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (314)

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