don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...