she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
How's work?
Spinning.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
